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I witnessed the inception of a new terrible new epoch and in response gave a few brisk intakes of breath because i did not know what else to do... truly, truthfully, i did not know what else to do. my hands were bound and strapped to a metal pinning in the valley floor and i was capable only of an effervescent ..effort. real shiny, real purdy, real important. I stepped on a stolen soapbox and said, 'gather round, come one come all, watch the debilitating unpardonable offenses that life brings to the table: sex, a digestive tract full of feces and the saddest contemplations of man." the crowd bowed down and crowned me their king. i said, 'thank ya, thank ya but i think i'll pass... maybe in my next life.'
AND THEN THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW is...